A post about trusts?
X’d out of that snoozer!
Yeah, I get it. If you’re anything like me, estate planning always seemed like something I’d let Future Me deal with. But somewhere in your 50s, you realize that Future Me has shown up, and he’s a little pissed! The shame of avoiding adult responsibilities finally outweighs the bliss of ignoring them.
To be fair, Younger Me wasn’t completely negligent. I did manage to put our wills in place. (Ahem, if you have young kids and don’t have a will? Fix that. Now!)
But as our assets grew, our goals evolved, and our children became independent, those wills started to look like relics of another era. They were about as useful as a VHS player in a streaming world.
Why I Finally Started Thinking About a Trust
My 50s have been a time of joy and transition. The career finish line is in sight. The kids, once small and chaotic, are now transitioning young adults. And that nest egg we’ve spent decades incubating? It’s nearly ready to hatch. And it’s going to be a pretty big baby.
That’s what finally got me thinking about estate planning.
I had always assumed our wills, however outdated, would be enough to ensure our kids were taken care of if something happened to my wife and I. But as I immersed myself into the exciting world of trust literature, I learned:
Wills are just one piece of the puzzle.
Trusts are where the real action is.
Wait… What Even Is a Trust?
I always associated the word trust with trust-fund babies, or the kind of thing reserved for the ultra-wealthy who summer in the Hamptons and refer to lunch as luncheon.
Turns out, I was wrong.
While some trusts are designed for high-net-worth families, others are perfectly reasonable for gilded slaves like me. Maybe you, too!
At a basic level, I like to think of a trust as a kind of “account”. It’s simply a legal structure you set up that holds your assets and dictates what happens to them after you’re gone.
If that sounds confusing, think of it like an IRA:
- You create an IRA, and the law gives it special tax treatment.
- You fund the IRA with investments.
- The IRA has rules about who can access the money and when.
A trust works similarly:
- You create the trust, and it gets legal protections.
- You transfer assets into it (like real estate, bank accounts, and investments).
- The trust has rules about who controls the assets and what happens when you’re gone.
(One big caveat: Real estate is one of the best things to put in a trust. It’s also one of the worst things to put in an IRA. So, the metaphor only goes so far.)
Two Main Types of Trusts
There are many different kinds of trusts, but the two you’ll hear about most often are:
- Irrevocable Trusts
- Revocable Living Trusts
Let’s talk about irrevocable trusts first. Spoiler alert: They’re wildly inappropriate for my situation. But it’s still good to understand why.
Irrevocable Trusts: The “One-Way Door”
So, let’s get this out of the way: An irrevocable trust was never an option for me.
Why? Because once you put assets into an irrevocable trust, they’re no longer yours. The name makes this obvious. It’s IRREVOCABLE. Duh. You can’t take assets back, can’t change the terms, and basically wave goodbye to any control.
That sounds awful, right? So why would anyone do this?
Because rich people hate estate taxes.
As of 2025, the federal estate tax exemption is $13.61 million per person ($27.22 million for a married couple). That means if your estate is worth less than that when you die, you don’t owe federal estate taxes. But if you have more than that, the IRS starts taking a painful bite. Like, 40% on anything above the threshold. Ouch!
For the ultra-wealthy, putting assets into an irrevocable trust removes them from their taxable estate, potentially saving millions in estate taxes. It also provides other benefits, like lawsuit protection, Medicaid planning, and shielding assets from creditors.
But Here’s the Catch…
When you transfer assets into an irrevocable trust, they’re no longer yours. You can’t dip into them when you feel like it, and changing the trust’s rules requires some serious legal gymnastics (if it’s even possible).
For most people (especially those without at least $13.61 million in assets) this is overkill. If you’re like me and just want to avoid probate, keep things simple for your family, and maintain control of your assets while you’re alive, then an Irrevocable Trust is like using a flamethrower to light a birthday candle.
That’s where the Revocable Living Trust comes in. This is the trust for the rest of us. This was the trust for me.
Revocable Living Trusts: The Smarter, Saner Choice
If irrevocable trusts are like locking your assets in a vault and throwing away the key, revocable living trusts are more like a high-security safe, one that only you (and whomever you trust) can access.
The key difference? You stay in control.
A Revocable Living Trust (RLT) is a legal entity that holds your assets while you’re alive and smoothly transfers them to your beneficiaries when you’re dead. Unlike an irrevocable trust, you can change it, update it, or even dissolve it entirely if your circumstances or wishes change.
Okay, but why bother? Seems like a will can do the same.
Here’s why many people (myself included) choose an RLT over just a will:
1. It Avoids Probate (and That’s a Big Deal)
A will has to go through probate. Well, for years, I didn’t really have a good grasp of what probate actually meant. My deep thinking on the subject was: What’s the big deal?
Essentially, it’s a court-supervised process where your estate is settled by the courts and lawyers. This means your family could be stuck waiting months (or years!) dealing with legal fees and headaches, just to access assets you intended for them. Remember, people die all the time, and if they don’t have an RLT in place (and most don’t), they’re all going through this same log jam.
My wife and I intend to buy a vacation property in a different state. Guess what? If you die, your will must go through a SEPARATE probate in that state, too! So that’s even MORE legal fees and hassle.
A trust bypasses probate.
No judges. No waiting. No unnecessary legal fees.
The moment you die, your assets flow directly to your beneficiaries without court interference.
Sign me up! But wait, there’s more!
2. It’s Private (Unlike a Will)
Did you know that when your will goes through probate, it becomes public record? If you’re even remotely concerned about privacy, or just don’t want random people knowing your financial details, an RLT keeps things confidential.
Hey, I’ve got nothing to hide. (You can trust this anonymous blogger!) But it’s nice to know that Marge down the street won’t have gossip ammunition for bunko night.
3. It Makes Life Easier for Your Family
If you have multiple properties, investments, or accounts, a trust simplifies everything. You decide ahead of time who manages what, reducing stress and potential family conflicts.
4. You Can Plan for Incapacity
A will only kicks in after you’ve kicked the bucket, but a revocable trust can protect you if you become incapacitated (i.e still alive!). Your designated successor trustee can step in and manage your finances without the need for court intervention.
Revocable Living Trust: Who’s Who in the Zoo?
A Revocable Living Trust isn’t just a stack of paperwork in a fancy three-ring binder. (Well, actually it is, but….) It’s a team effort with a handful of key players. Let’s break down who’s who in this estate-planning setup.
- Grantor (a.k.a. YOU – the One Making the Decisions) – You create the trust, fund it with your assets, and control it as long as you’re alive and well. You’re in charge….until you’re not.
- Co-Grantor (a.k.a. Your Spouse) – If you’re married, you might set up a joint trust where both spouses are Grantors. This keeps things clean. If I didn’t include my wife as a Co-Grantor, well… let’s just say I’d need to execute that trust immediately!
- Trustee (You Again…for Now) – You manage everything in the trust while you’re alive. Nothing really changes in daily life, except for the legal paperwork.
- Co-Trustee (Optional, but Handy) – Some people name a Co-Trustee (often a spouse) to help manage things alongside them. This can make transitions smoother if one person is more financially savvy or just wants to be involved.
- Successor Trustee (The One Who Takes Over When You Can’t) – This is the person who steps in when you pass away or become incapacitated. They’ll be the one handling everything, so choose wisely.
- Beneficiaries (The Ones Who Receive What’s Left) – Your heirs, charities, or whoever you designate to receive your assets. Hopefully, they don’t start asking too many questions about the timeline.
Remember, a trust is only as good as the people running it. Assign the right roles, and everything runs smoothly. Get it wrong, and you might leave behind more headaches than solutions.
What Happens to Assets Left Out of the Trust? The Pour-Over Will
Even if you set up a Revocable Living Trust, if you’re like me, there’s a good chance you’ll forget to transfer something into it. This could be a bank account, a piece of property, or that one investment account you opened years ago and never thought about again.
That’s where a Pour-Over Will comes in. It acts as a safety net for any assets left outside the trust.
Think of it like this:
- Your trust is the main account where everything should go.
- Your Pour-Over Will says, “If I forgot to put something in the trust, just move it there when I’m gone.”
This simple but critical document ensures that anything you forgot to retitle into the trust still follows the same rules and beneficiaries you set up.
But There’s a Catch…
Unlike the RLT, a Pour-Over Will still has to go through probate before the assets can be moved into the trust. That’s why estate planners strongly recommend funding your trust properly upfront just so your heirs don’t have to rely on the Pour-Over Will to clean up after you.
Lesson learned? The trust is only as good as what’s inside it. If you go through all the trouble of setting one up, take the extra step and transfer all your assets immediately.
Medical Directives: The Overlooked Essential
The Medical Directive (also called an Advance Healthcare Directive) was bundled into my estate plan, but I hadn’t thought much about it. Big mistake.
The RLT handles your assets, but the Medical Directive handles YOU.
This document covers:
- Who makes medical decisions for you if you can’t.
- End-of-life instructions (Do you want to be kept on life support? Do you want all possible measures taken? Or do you want a DNR in place?).
- Organ donation wishes.
Lesson learned: Your estate plan isn’t complete without this. Probate is a hassle, but a medical crisis without clear instructions is worse.
Choosing an Estate Planning Lawyer: What Surprised Me
I’m not sure why, but I expected an estate planning lawyer to have at least some overlap with financial planning. After all, a trust controls where your assets go. Shouldn’t they have some insight into how those assets work?
Turns out: NOPE.
The lawyer I worked with was strictly an estate planner. He was a good guy and very knowledgeable within his domain. He could draft trusts, wills, and medical directives all day, but when I asked about account transfer strategies, tax implications, or financial planning considerations, I got blank stares.
Lesson learned? If you want guidance on the financial side of things (like tax efficiency, asset protection, or funding strategies) you might need to loop in a financial advisor or CPA alongside your estate lawyer.
Since I have neither a financial advisor nor a CPA, I did a LOT of reading on the internet. Probably more than is healthy, but hey, at least I’ve got great stories for the next party!
Getting Started: Free to Fee
Knowing nothing, I simply contacted three highly reviewed, local estate planning attorneys and inquired about cost and timeline via email. For all three, the first consultation (up to an hour) was free. These discussions were pretty light….mostly a rehash of what you can find on the internet.
But when it came to moving forward? Well, there were no previews and no discussions. I had to pay the full fee upfront.
I get it. It’s hard to look at a stack of paper in a three-ring binder (no matter how fancy that binder is) and think, Yep, that’s worth several thousand dollars! But peace of mind is priceless, right?
We started this in January 2025 (sometimes New Year’s resolutions actually happen!). Prices ranged from $2,600 to $5,160:
- $2,600 – Only covered the RLT (never mentioned Pour-Over Wills or Medical Directives).
- $3,800 – Included the RLT, Pour-Over Will, and Medical Directive.
- $5,160 – Same as above but more comprehensive service, including retrieving my Recorded Deed from the city where I live, and drafting a new deed to transfer real estate (my home) into the new Revocable Living Trust.
I ended up going with the high-end lawyer, and not just because his office was next to a beautiful microbrewery on the water (though that was a perk!). He was the most direct about what I was actually buying:
A legal construct that gives my beneficiaries immediate access to my assets WITHOUT PROBATE.
Sure, there are other benefits like privacy and a Medical Directive, but avoiding probate was the biggie. And unlike the other lawyers, he also candidly pointed out that most of my assets already had direct beneficiary access. Retirement accounts, for example, don’t go through probate. (You have filled out your beneficiary form, right?)
The real advantage of an RLT was controlling real estate and taxable investment accounts within the trust. Real estate, in particular, can be complicated, and since we plan to expand our real estate portfolio, this sealed the deal for me.
Check written!
The Trust Questionnaire: What They Asked Me
After that? I barely dealt with the lawyer. Instead, I worked with his paralegal team, who needed me to answer a Trust Questionnaire before drafting the first version.
Here’s what they asked:
- Full names (including middle names/initials).
- Family information (immediate family members, relationships, locations, and birthdates).
- If you have minor children, who takes custody? (Primary and alternate recommended).
- Who gets your assets when you’re gone? (Most people go with “everything to the surviving spouse, then split between kids.”)
- If your heirs are minors, at what age should they inherit? (18? 21? 25? Older?)
- Who ensures your wishes are carried out? (Primary and alternate recommended).
- Who makes medical decisions if you’re incapacitated? (This is where the Medical Directive comes in, more on that soon.)
- Copy of your recorded real estate deed(s) so they can be retitled into the trust.
Struggling with Control from the Grave
Most of the questionnaire was straightforward.
But #5? I really struggled with that one.
For a couple of days, I drafted this overcomplicated instruction manual for my daughters. Asset allocation rules, 10-year inherited IRA withdrawal and conversion strategy, 4% withdrawal rule for long-term sustainability, half-baked clauses preventing spouses or boyfriends from touching the money.
I called my lawyer for advice. He chuckled.
He told me he’d seen so many people try to micromanage their money from the grave. And in the end, it only shackled their beneficiaries.
In the end, I made my instructions to my daughters as simple as possible:
“Get a financial advisor at Fidelity and lean on them until you don’t need them anymore. It’s worth the AUM fee until you’re confident managing the money yourself.”
I realized I should talk to them about this stuff while I’m LIVING, rather than dictate arcane rules when I’m DEAD.
I’ll point out that I tried to implement this advice by setting aside some family time to discuss financial planning with my daughters and wife. To be frank, the glaze I got back could have covered a wedding cake….but at least I tried.
And that’s a big reason why this blog exists. It’s a way for me to explain some pretty dull topics without forcing it on them. It will be here when they’re ready to hear it.
That mental shift alone was worth the price of admission.
Final Steps: Signing and Retitling
The final steps were surprisingly simple:
- Signing Day: My wife and I met with the lawyer to sign the documents (trust, wills, medical directives).
- Certificate of Trust: Instead of handing over the entire trust document to banks and brokerages, we got a Certificate of Trust—a simplified version proving the trust exists.
- Retitling Assets:
- The lawyer handled the real estate retitling and filing.
- I had to update my taxable brokerage accounts to list the trust as the owner.
- Retirement accounts stayed as they were, since they already passed directly via beneficiary designations.
Was It Worth It?
Total Cost: $5,160
Included: RLT, Pour-Over Wills, Medical Directives
At the end of the process, I had peace of mind. My family now has immediate access to our assets without waiting on the courts.
Bonus: I finally earned my seat at the responsible ‘adult table’, so we celebrated next door at the micro-brewery with an adult beverage. A satisfying end.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been putting off estate planning, I get it. Me, too (for decades), but waiting only increases the risk of your assets being disbursed without your say.
A Revocable Living Trust isn’t just for the ultra-wealthy. It’s a way to make sure your family gets what you’ve worked for without unnecessary delays, fees, and legal headaches.
At the very least? Get a Medical Directive. You’ve lived well, now leave well. A trust keeps your wealth private, spares your heirs from probate, and keeps lawyers from cashing in on your legacy. It’s the last smart financial move you’ll ever make.
And most importantly? TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT MONEY WHILE YOU’RE STILL HERE!!